


Past and Present

by islandgirl



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 21:50:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islandgirl/pseuds/islandgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for 3.20:  As long as he lives, he doesn’t think he’ll ever understand how he was the one to walk away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past and Present

      As long as he lives, he doesn’t think he’ll ever understand how he was the one to walk away. He walked into a jungle in North Korea, three times, and somehow managed to walk back out every time. He’d lost Freddie the first time, a piece of himself and his foundation the second. The third time he’d almost lost Cath.

  
      Standing in the cemetery, Cath and Joe a steady presence on either side of him, makes it all the more real. He knows if he walks a few rows over and a few rows up, he’ll find the other person he lost that day. It’s almost too overwhelming, knowing that more and more of his family were filling up the cemetery. The father he’d run from and his brother in everything but blood. His mother was a ghost that haunted his life, and the man he looked up to like a father was only hanging on by the life support of a dangerous mission. The grave markers were adding up almost as fast as the “should’ve been you” moments.

  
      He looks over at his team; the faithful three that have stood by him for 3 years and it feels like a punch to the gut when he finds the best of Freddie in each of them. Kono with her no-nonsense attitude and dedication; Chin with the way he will sacrifice for family; Danny, his anchor, the one who makes him tow the line and puts him back in place, the one who calls him out on all his crap and bolsters him when he’s falling. He loves each of them with such a fierce intensity that he can’t breath. He just stares at them, lost for a moment, until a small hand lands on his back.

  
      “Go home, Steve,” Cath whispers to him.

  
      He turns to look at her, tears glittering in her eyes. He’s an open book right now, he knows, but it wouldn’t matter anyway. Cath can read him as well as Danny can, as well as Freddie could. He swallows thickly and nods, moving stiffly towards his friends, spine snapped straight and shoulders square.

  
      By the time he reaches them, sees their mixed looks of sorrow and relief and pride, he’s nearly undone. They just pull him close, offering their love and support. They don’t know the full story; though he’s pretty sure Cath filled them in on the basics judging by their sad eyes. And he knows they won’t ask, not right away at least. They’ll wait patiently for him to put himself back together again, they’ll wait for the old wounds ripped open to scab and heal over. Eventually he’ll tell them. He’ll tell them who Commander Freddie Hart was; from the stubborn bastard he met in BUD/s to the brother he loved to the hero who sacrificed his life. He’ll tell them about that fateful, death wish of a mission and about the recovery mission gone to hell. One day.

  
      For now, though, he walks in silence with them through the rows of graves, let’s them usher him into the Camaro and thanks whatever deity is listening they are by his side.


End file.
